Whining. A whole lot.

And yet another post that has languished in the ‘Draft’ column. I’ve no idea why some of these were never published. Must have been my state of mind. I think this is the last one of the drafts, but I’ve been wrong before…

Written 19 March 2010


I’m home. It was turbulent. Being with my father has never been exactly easy; this was even more so. I left Florida a week earlier than planned. The stress threw me into a rather nasty fibro flare (it’s been several years since I had a flare so bad that it merited mention.) This is still ongoing and I’m feeling quite miserable about it, but trying to trick myself into it ending by putting on a happy face and working out. So far…it’s not working. Sleep is difficult. Pain is constant and worse than I remember And the topper is that I’ve gained five pounds…the smack in the face after the kick in the butt.

This too shall pass. It always does because frankly, I couldn’t handle it if I believed otherwise.

So my brother, David (I have four brothers) has left his home in Rotterdam and taken up residence with Dad until June 5th. I have extraordinary regard for his doing so. Not only has he given up the comfort of being home, he’s dealing with our father. David has a very different approach to most things, including Dad, than do I. He’s managed to accomplish some things that I could not. He has the physical strength to pick Dad up and carry him, should it become necessary (although it’s looking as though I may be able to also, as he’s sunk down to 128 pounds. He still will not eat or drink.)

I may have to go back on June 4th.

And in the meantime, I’ve no idea what I’m doing. I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to appear to be doing. I’m mulling along, trying to figure out whether I should try to get a job here, apply for grad school, think about moving back to Florida, order and dye some yarn, blog. I just don’t know.

I hate being this aimless.

The topper is that I’ve come down with some nasty virus that has headache as a signature note.

Edited to add: Daddy accepted Jesus as his Saviour. I got to explain, and to pray with him. On May 10, 2012, JoeBaby went to be with the Lord he never knew in life. Wish I could have been there to see it! One day I will. I love you, Daddy. I love you most, Jesus!


~ by perchance2knit on March 19, 2010.

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