Whining. A whole lot.

And yet another post that has languished in the ‘Draft’ column. I’ve no idea why some of these were never published. Must have been my state of mind. I think this is the last one of the drafts, but I’ve been wrong before…

Written 19 March 2010

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I’m home. It was turbulent. Being with my father has never been exactly easy; this was even more so. I left Florida a week earlier than planned. The stress threw me into a rather nasty fibro flare (it’s been several years since I had a flare so bad that it merited mention.) This is still ongoing and I’m feeling quite miserable about it, but trying to trick myself into it ending by putting on a happy face and working out. So far…it’s not working. Sleep is difficult. Pain is constant and worse than I remember And the topper is that I’ve gained five pounds…the smack in the face after the kick in the butt.

This too shall pass. It always does because frankly, I couldn’t handle it if I believed otherwise.

So my brother, David (I have four brothers) has left his home in Rotterdam and taken up residence with Dad until June 5th. I have extraordinary regard for his doing so. Not only has he given up the comfort of being home, he’s dealing with our father. David has a very different approach to most things, including Dad, than do I. He’s managed to accomplish some things that I could not. He has the physical strength to pick Dad up and carry him, should it become necessary (although it’s looking as though I may be able to also, as he’s sunk down to 128 pounds. He still will not eat or drink.)

I may have to go back on June 4th.

And in the meantime, I’ve no idea what I’m doing. I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to appear to be doing. I’m mulling along, trying to figure out whether I should try to get a job here, apply for grad school, think about moving back to Florida, order and dye some yarn, blog. I just don’t know.

I hate being this aimless.

The topper is that I’ve come down with some nasty virus that has headache as a signature note.

Edited to add: Daddy accepted Jesus as his Saviour. I got to explain, and to pray with him. On May 10, 2012, JoeBaby went to be with the Lord he never knew in life. Wish I could have been there to see it! One day I will. I love you, Daddy. I love you most, Jesus!

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~ by perchance2knit on March 19, 2010.

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